Workin 9-5 what a way to make a livin (or not!) When we first arrived the chateau was still functioning at close to full throttle, all rooms were full weekends and most during the week. But thankfully that was only for the first 2 1/2 weeks. The workload was intense – but apparently in mid-summer it was even more so with little difference between weekends and weekdays... and a huge turn-over of guests. Corey and Carina had already been there 3 or 4 weeks when we arrived, they were old hands, had a rhythm.
The intention for the roster was to split the week, it was meant to be 2 days on 2 days off, 1 day on 1 day off and a half day… that acknowledged the intensity of the days on. When I signed up I knew I was working 3.5 days… what was NOT mentioned was that the days routinely began at 6:30 and finished at 10:30pm-ish… sometimes later! 16hr days! That’s 56hrs a week! That’s 224hrs of free labour a week for the “cost” of food (probs tax deductable) and a bed in rooms they couldn’t rent anyway! Very shrewd indeed.
In retrospect, we were thrown in the deep-end – in the days leading to our arrival C&C had had to work 3 days running because the previous couple had left early due to flight scheduling (or so they say ;) ). So we arrived one afternoon and then starting the next morning we worked 3 days straight, had a half day off, half day on, one day off, one day on, one day off, 2 days on. We worked 6.5 days (104hrs) in 9 days! I was exhausted and fucked off and frankly I’d have walked had it not have fucked Nikkii over completely (she didn’t have an income source and had also sub-let her room in London for the 6 weeks) ... and we had been assured that this was unusual (and it was - thank fuck)
Nikkiii and I basically split the work, I did kitchen she did front of house/service…. we shared clean up. This happened for me as of day 2 when I went to walk a tray of boutique beers out to guests by the pool – well you guessed it, the beers went flying and I died on the inside. After then a certain self-consciousness – errr klutzy-ness - meant I felt quite awkward serving dinners, drinks or breakfasts. Besides Nikkii has 12+yrs experience and is at home with this stuff. Usually, I am at home in the kitchen…
My mornings began early (when we first arrived just at sunrise… by the time we left it was just before sunrise!) by picking herbs and fresh tomatoes,
making a cute little fromage signature dish, meat platters, cheese platters, a fruit dish (either platters, salads or individual cups), a bread tower (made from beautiful fresh breads and pastries that Lawrence drove into town each day to get)....
and a “special/hot” dish every day.
That could be eggs – in many forms - muffins, pancakes, fruit kebabs etc… this alternated each day sweet or savoury. Of course there were also all the accoutrements – juices (fresh squeezed orange and others), tea, coffee, cereals, butter, jams etc . Of course everything was always presented with finesse and attention to detail. Of course everything was delivered silver-service style. Of course everything had to be replenished. And, of course, guests ate at any time between 8:30 – 11:30… which meant prepping, serving and cleaning up constantly at these times – with Nikkii doing many difficult miles up and down twirling staircases. When they finished we would bring everything upstairs and have the left-overs … at first this was sooooooooooo awesome, brie, goat cheese, poached eggs, crusty bread, croissants, ham, salmon, fruit salad… soooooooo decadent, sooooo yummy, sooo rich… eventually, ugh, sooo wrong. Cereal became just as appealing
and when mum sent the Vegemite we were fucken ecstatic!
The rest of the day was spent planning next meals and shopping, attending to guests various needs, making snacks to be served with drinks, occasionally making lunches and on one huge occasion a 5 course dinner (back to that later), pouring drinks and serving them, greeting new guests (with champagne and snack), picking flowers. Picking fruit and cooking jams and jellies (more on that later). In the evening we made dinner for the others (C, C, C and F) did turn-down (a ritual of putting fresh spring water, mints and a rose in each room, turning down the covers, closing curtains and turning on lamps… I think I’ve mentioned before Nikkii and I sometimes took great hilarity in this), we ate dinner and – often – played card games… and then waited and waited for guests to return so we could serve them at the bar and lock up.
There was often down time in the early afternoons, especially later on – post- Caroline, when there were fewer guests (sometimes none!) but you had to stick around for guests or other enquiries… time was quite your own – Nikkiii and I used to split this time so one of us could go down and watch a vid, snooze, wander around the grounds etc.
When we first arrived days off basically meant lolling around – looking at views, reading, facebooking, sitting by the pool (unless guests were there), walking, wandering into the village, writing blogs about Spain… recovering from work!
It only took a week or two to get stir crazy! We started going on day trips ... but that was later and I'll talks about all that next entry. Of course as far as I could get on my own were the local surrounds – the garden, the village… the area.
One day, early in the time there, I took a walk around the block… it took two hours! I really liked it even if, at times, walking along the pathless roads was a little scary. It was a endless blue-sky day, cool but I got a blush of sun, and I chose the long route – into town and back out over the main entrance bridge into town. Here are a couple pics… and a vid
back out and around.
There were many bushes along the way plump with berries but were they edible? I am now in awe that more children don’t die. I was very tempted and I have the wisdom of age..
On the way back I popped into the local supermarket after ready a sign on the highway, “Super-U” 2 mins… of course I forgot that was meant for cars and it took me an extra 20 minutes! Super-U is a massive supermarket that incorporates a K-mart section, it is in the middle of nowehere, at a round-about that splits of to three or four different “towns”… but I’ll talk more about it, below.
Anyhow, despite early resentment about workload, things did shift and time became freer – on balance I still think they got a fair bargain… much more than fair… and had we been here mid-season it would have been pure exploitation… but it was also an opportunity to experience a very different way of life. No regrets.
Masterchefs
As I have said already, cooking was my main task there at the chateau… and it turns out this was both a stress and an opportunity to be creative… within restrictions. The French do not experiment. Getting spices and ingredients that were anything a little left-field was extremely difficult. Asian cooking meant adding soy sauce and ginger and while middle-eastern was possible… it took some doing… but I get ahead of myself.
It was interesting to discover my distorted work ethic applies even in this context - even though I was not getting paid I busted my balls, took pride in being creative – even though short cuts were available – and got stressed out by trying to meet the not-quite-reasonable requests of those in charge. From now on I say no … I swear!...
Let me give you an instance, that 1st weekend – all was new, all was go, go, go and on the afternoon before the third shift (ie I had just worked 2x 16hr days), Caroline asked “Could you do pancakes tomorrow for the guests, it’s the family’s last day. Kids love pancakes”
NOOOOOOooooo!… I’m shit at pancakes, let alone the perfectly presented petite paper-thin pieces that were wanted… I tried to suggest alternatives but kept getting hedged back… Fuck I’d seen Masterchef I knew how hard it was to make perfect pancakes! At home on the VERY rare occasions I make them, I make the fat and “organically-shaped” ie NOT round! But I didn’t have time to think about that.. I still had the rest of that day's work to do. SO I found myself, at 10pm looking up internet recipes. Caroline stopped to speak to me about something or other on her way to bed – I nearly burst into tears with stress… but I kept going, and made a batch of test pancakes knowing that all the usual prep had to be done in the morning. The next day (after less than 5 hours sleep) I got up early (5:30am) and began. I made a mix and refrigerated it, set up the other usual shit (fruit, cheese, meats lalala) and at 8am began the factory production of pancakes… we had 13 guests to cater for and they were expected as a large group at 9.
The pancakes wouldn’t work… I binned heaps. I adjusted to mix, had two frypans hot, kept going. I got a few that were ok… it was 8:45 and I had 5 pancakes keeping warm. The first guests started making their way down early (of course) I was in a real sweat… pour, cook, add butter, flip etc etc then I got a rhythm, started churning them… Nikkii took the first batch down, I kept cooking - the rest of the guests arrived – I kept cooking… I amongst it there was a request for soft-boiled eggs (which I now have down to an art by-the-way) – in-between I produced pancakes that would have probably worked better as placemats or fascinating art pieces and then binned them.
Then Nikkii made her way up the stairs and into my kitchen chaos– "STOP!"
Huh?
They’re not eating them
Pardon
The kids don’t like pancakes and the parents have only eaten a few.
I laughed – a tad hysterically – pancakes were eaten for breakfast, lunch and tea by our household in various configurations for the next few days!
Of course that’s when a request was made but I have my own ridiculous aims .. the longer I stayed the more “creative” I got… mini-quiches, baked tomatoes filled with thyme scrambled eggs,
grilled fruit kebabs with cardamon yoghurt, poached eggs with labnah and dukkah,
baked peach with sweet cinnamon creme fraiche. Of course it wasn’t just the breakfasts that I got carried away with – the preserves included quince and vanilla jelly (I LOVED the colour), grape and cassis jelly, rose-petal jelly, plum and cointreau jam, Peach and Amerretto jam, fig and ginger… blah blah blah.
Have I mentioned that as the guests dwindled the fruit picking and cooking picked up – we made more that 200 (or was that 300?) jars. I am in no hurry to ever eat any form of jam again!
OK - I'm raving I'll race through other bits so that I can upload this - do "the day trips" tomorrow... and move on to other parts of the world... after all I left the Chateau in mid-October!
Luckily dinner for guests was NOT a routine task... I find cooking for paying guests quite nerve wrecking ... guests either went out to dinner ( there were many fine little country places within 1/2 hr drive and a few a wee (dark!) walk into town. And once or twice a weeks guests paid for Sidney and Alison to come in and serve dinner. These were elaborate 5-course affairs that cost guest 50 euros a head (can't find the Euro symbol on the keyboard). Sidney is a South-African/ENglish chef who has decided to leave the industry and set up his own cooking school in rural France... he also caters to any local events and does dinners for the Chateau. He is a 3 star Michelin chef. Alison is a pastry chef and his wife. They are lovely and cook amazing meals (though tend to have a repetitive menu). It was great when they were on cos they hosted as well!
But one night I did do dinner! (and don't I look happy and relaxed :) ) Yikes... again it was a request and I said yes. Previous housesitters tended to simple menus... that included frozen tarte tatin! Non-Sideny dinners were still 5 courses but only 35 Euros a head (approx $50!!!). I can't believe that Corey & Carina did one of these for 12 guests... I only had 4!If I got stressy about pancakes can you imagine how I was for this!
Anyhow their menu began with drinks in the bar - and individual trays for each couple of dukkah, olive oil and warm bread and eggplant and humos on pumpernickle (turkish bread wasn't available!).
Next course a simple basil, cumin seed, tomato and cucumber salad with (crap!) pita bread. The difficulty finding pita bread was amusing... though heating it lead to charcoal once (and the kitchen was next to the dining room - so much clamouring for windows and extractor fan)
Dessert was an almond and orange cake served with vanilla and orange cream - theres a photo at the very end
Nikki worked her arse off presenting silver service standard, explaining courses and helping making sure my "plating up" was up to standard. Most importantly she gave me the heads up on timing - something I'm clueless about... how to pace a meal - the rhythm and momentum... who knew!
ANYHOW - my time there wasn't all thinking about, shopping for, cooking or consuming food.
Here is some other RANDOM STUFF
NATURE AND COLOUR
One of the things I found magical here was the change in seasons - so absolute, so rapid. More specifically the magic of the colours of nature. Autumn had more meaning here. Do I imagine I remember or do I actually remember a time when plants made huge colour transformations in Melbourne - now it seems lacklustre greens turn murky brown then crisp dead-brown. Maybe now "the drought has broken" the colours will return.
a coupla colour/nature quotes from my iphone
"deep green trees laced with burnt red vines"
"dead buildings vined with life"
"hot-blue skies, come to life at sunset with a chaos of color and blacken slowly - violet then deep sapphire - before revealing a sky busy, dancing, with lights. I have forgotten night skies can be this alive"
"English gardens look happy here, not ridiculous as they look at home... in fact they look decidedly French!"
"endless freshly ploughed fields = brushed brown cordoruy as far as the eye can see"
"Leaves the color of toffee-apples - deep 'unnatural' red with the ghost of green still haunting from underneath"
NATURE and FEAR
Now some of you may or may not know the extent of my spider fear. They FUCKING FREAK ME OUT! In fact I have once moved from a house because it was alive with huntsman.
Well, of course the Chateau had more than its fair share of spiders. In one day I or Nikkii had to deal with 7! They crept around downstairs most (but not exclusively) ... that's right my bedroom! Poor Nikkii had to come to my rescue with some regularity catchin or killin (if they'd gone too far - that means been up above me or run near me).
These fuckers were my worst nightmare - the size and hairiness of hunstmen, with loooong legs and agility like daddy-long-legs (which I'm not afraid of) but these fuckers scuttled all over the place... the photo doesn't remotely do them justice (not like I was gonna get any closer) and they were in plague proportions. I often had fears at night walkin to the loo that I was surrounded by them in the hall ala Raiders of The Lost Ark - yeech
But I was not the only one to have fears confronted. One day as I innocently went to stroll up the front stairs I noticed a black and white lizard...the length of my hand. Cute, I thought. Except it wasn't a lizard, it was a snake! Still cute, I mean, really! Besides, not like we're in Australia where they're deadly.
Anyhoo, I leap over it and call out to others. Corey comes out, he finds it cute to and wants to pick it up and hurl it into the yard. I wasn't comfortable with that. I got a jar and popped it over the top. By now the snake (poor luv) was striking at the jar. There was another poor luv, Nikkii, who it turns out has a snake phobia. She had honestly paled and was a little hysterical. We took the snake to Laurence and Noel. They were a little alarmed... though Noel may have taken some pleasure in spooking Nikkii and Laurence. Turns out they had caught one in almost the same spot a day or two before... also turns out these are babies and where the fuck were mum and dad. It also turns out the snake was somewhat poisonous... will only kill ya if you're a tad frail. Yoikes. Nikkii's knickers were now knotted!
Despite her robust nature and adventurous spirit, turns out Nikki can be a little vulnerable. We were sitting upstairs at night in the dining room in our last week having a game of cards or on our computers (can't remember) when something starts flying above us..
"Oh dear, a birds caught inside I said" and headed for the window.
I hear the hurried shuffling of chairs and then a muffled "it's not a bird"
"oh yeah, it's a bat" again a fraction larger than a sparrow, poor mite. I turn around and the other poor mite, Nikkii, has disappeared. "Is it gone?" I hear from a distance. I look around and can't find her, but the bat fies out.
It took me a minute to realise but Nikkii was hiding under the table!
QUOTABLE QUOTES and FUNNY FOTOS (if you're 14-yr-old idiots like me and Nikkii)
(a conversation in the dark... picking tomatoes...) N: You’ve got me in the dark feeling for balls L: I’m not comfortable feeling for balls in the dark that’s more your territory
Is that a prison or a school (Nikkii - an honest and fair question if you'd seen the school)
If I got to name that mushroom, it would be called the White Nipple (Nikkii - I wish I had a photo, she hit it right on the knocker(s) with that one)
Cutting quince gets my cunt juices flowing (LIsa: what I meant was... cutting quince is difficult and dangerous... thus I say "cunt" a lot)
When does the plankton go into the jam (Nikkii: she meant pectin)
L: (said to Nikkii who was driving upon spotting a pheasant crossing the country road - seriously) DINNER! I'll give ya $20 if you hit it! L: (10 minutes later) DINNER! But I'll only give ya $10 if you hit it (an old woman was crossing the road... I may have been peckish)
When we did the big clean up of the house at the end of season and before we left, we found a few amusing and bemusing things... a really festy slab of preserved meat, a deep fryer left with fat still in it... but some things were plain confusing. Why did they have packets and packets of disposable knickers in the kitchen cupboards? 
As did a shopping trip to the market!
As did pretty much anything... in either of us!
