ME SIENTO COMO UN BORREGO CONDUCIDOS

I am writing this on the terrace of the hostel I am staying at in Sevilla (a great hostel by the way… Samay) – to the left of me is a group of doce (12) or so travellers all speaking English – American accents dominate though they are clearly outnumbered. Snippets of conversation sharpen into focus… apologistic platitudes regarding “Stateside politics”, how sweaty everyone is and, repeatedly, how difficult it is to find non-touristy places in Europe...

(THIS IS NOT THEIR PIC - but you get the idea) This pack gather, they are drinking muy cervezas, sangrias and have just started on the tequila shots. They are about to be unleashed on Sevilla – they’re off to do a “pub and flamenco tour” where they will drink as many shots and mojitos as they can. I have been beckoned by the two Aussie gals I was chatting to last night. I wince and point to my half-eaten dinner – could they just all hurry up and fuck off already! It’s 11pm.

I don’t bag their drinking – that would be muy hypocritical but for fucks sake they hate the touristiness of Europe and yet they’re doing what they’re doin?

OK, I have now slunk back to my dorm.

Of course, all that’s a perfect segue into the next theme for my blog – “me siento como un Borrego conducidos” or, I feel like a sheep being herded!... the inevitabilities of being a tourist.

The experience of being a tourist is immediately conflicted – on the one hand you want to pioneer (a colonising urge?) to experience something unique, you also want to experience something authentic but you don’t want to miss out on all a place is famous for. Of course, inevitably, all three will/do happen – you can ONLY experience anything uniquely, there is something authentic in every interaction… even in recognising the shallow frivolity… and why avoid the things that are popular because (usually) they are in some way impressive.

We arrive with a to-do list more pressing and more daunting than the ones we have at home... but like the one I have at home I never expect to actually complete it!

BACK TO BARCELONA BABY!

Here are the muy touristico things I did in Barcelona

I went to the Picasso museum – Melanie and I headed off on our cultural adventure… we wandered around and couldn’t find it… did find a great jewellery shop – Melanie went back and purchased matching rings for her sisters (nyaw!). We found a craft market and I bought a trashy ring and choker…. Eventually we found the museo - the most visited museum in Barcelona.

Proof it is muy touristic is this embarrassing interaction with a street performer – don’t wear hot pink – you look like a beckon and the come-a-runnin. sigh.

After queuing for ages we got to the front of the line to discover our museum pass would have let us through without waiting! If you go to Barcelona and are into galleries etc DO buy the pass even if only to avoid queuing!

I was a little disappointed by the museo itself - this is where I first felt me siento como un Borrego conducidos. There was a strict path and it was hard to deviate, too crowded and rushed and frankly his early work, while remarkably and technically impressive, fails to move me. A bit like Shakespeare I guess. Just call me a philistine. In addition there was this nauseating and loud father and daughter duo who really fucked me off – she was desperate to impress him – he lectured knowledgably about art styles and techniques. She kept trying to impress him but missed the mark – hardly surprising she was about 6 – he was a total tool.

We then went for a cuppa that I was far more impressed with – in a really cute cafe. But what’s wrong with this picture? People are smoking – was still taken aback by that in an eating establishment… more impressed with the very cute tea pot and fresh tea… and Melanie’s company of course!

I went to the Casa Batillo – Gaudi and stood outside after my previous being herded experience I didn’t wanna pay $30 for the privilege! (go on, say it, philistine!) It is beautiful on the outside and has the best – and I’m an expert – paving outside… but, really? It was fun watching others watching!

I went to Sagrada Familia and didn’t even do that much. Impressive as it was, everyone I spoke to said it’s disappointing inside because at the moment the ongoing construction really limits what you can see – besides it was a Sunday and muy muy gente were cramming in - baaa.

I went to La Pedrera – Gaudi museo y edificio. Here I was very conflicted – his work is amazing – its organic genius is... spectacular. But I was a sheep – I listened to the audio and did learn (I didn’t know he designed furniture for example) and gain greater appreciation BUT I feel like you can’t get truly transported by what you are seeing while everything is labelled, you are surrounded by hoards and cordoned off.

I just wanted to stroke the curves of his buildings and sit on the steps of the roof terrace and watch. I did do both – briefly…

Of course I sound downright misanthropic and I'm not - I loved watching families interact - kids hide or, alternately look bored and resentful, people looking as disorientated as I was at times...

I seem to be able to either contemplate people or art - not both.

I went to see some flamenco. If I'm honest I kinda went cos the others in the piso were going... I'd like to see some authentic flamenco but not enough to actually chase it... if it happens it happens was my attitude. Well this is what happened we went to the MOST touristico possible - in Placa Real in a venue that has 3 shows a night - but hey I really liked it. I know there'd be better but I'm hardly an officionado on the art form I just love it's attitude and the music is powerful (when the speakers aren't screeching feedback... but that ade it more real) - the dramatics the hard thumping fucking sexuality and rhythm - the gentle and unually dissonant timbre of the vocals... all in all a great night with great people. It was one of those moments however where I didn't want to see the whole show through the lens of a camera - another danger a tourist constantly confronts... the tension between capturing and experiencing!

I am going to stop for now but there'll be more coming in the next few hours - I hope... some touristico pero no todo